Nope, I’ve not been hiding away a secret child, this is a letter to X for him to read in 10 years time when he’ll be 13 and a half…
A Letter To My Teenage Son
I’ve no idea what the world will be like when you’re reading this in 2027 – the world has changed so much in so little time just lately, with technology and social media becoming essential parts of our lives in a way that didn’t exist when I was your age. I can’t imagine the path of progression slowing down anytime soon. We’re probably all part Robot now…
But certain things never change. I bet right now you’re hating that you feel so grown up but your independence is limited. And I bet you kind of hate me for it. I’m hoping I’ve done my job well and brought you up to be a sensible young man, but I know the arrogance of youth, and the desire to rebel.
Testing limits is important, but please don’t go pushing them too far. There are rules for a reason! I don’t want to stifle you, but it’s my ambition in life since you came along to keep you safe. I can’t be blind to the fact that things will hurt you, people will hurt you and chances are you will hurt other people, but I can only hope you act always with the best of intentions and with others’ feelings in mind.
People can be cruel, it’s a horrible fact of being human. Please try not to be, and please tell someone if you witness someone being cruel, or they’re cruel to you. There’s no need to hide away from it, or believe it’s your fault. Talking is important. You shouldn’t ever feel you need to bottle things up around me, or your Dad. We love you, and only ever want to help.
I know you’ll hear it a lot, but won’t believe it – your teenage years can be the best of your life. They can also feel like hell. There’s a lot of things going on for you now – please know you can always talk to me. No matter how embarrassing it feels, or how trivial it seems. When I was a teenager there was a lot going on at home, and sometimes my own feelings felt like they were insignificant compared to things going on around me. This wasn’t true for me, and it will never be true for you. Your feelings matter. There is no shame in being upset. There is no shame in crying.
I am your Mum, and that’s the first thing I will always be, but I hope we can also be friends. I will pull you up on bad behaviour, I will ground you, I will punish you – and you won’t like me for it. But that’s my job – to bring you up to be a kind, tolerant, sensible and intelligent young man. I will also hug you when you’re down, make your favourite food when you’re having a tough time, help you with your homework, and be your biggest defender and supporter.
I can’t promise to not be embarrassing. I hope I get to be a cool Mum but I’ve no unrealistic thoughts on that matter. I’d love ours to be the house where your friends feel safe, where they feel comfortable.
School can be hard, and it can be amazing – some of the best years of my life were in my later teenage years at college and university. I know school can be dull too, but find your passion and work with it. Make friends but remember to learn too! Boring, but essential for life after school – yes, it does all end eventually.
You’ve got so many fun years ahead of you – enjoy your time now in this brilliant stage of your life. This is where you find who YOU are, and I’ll be here as much as you need me to be to help you figure that out.
I love you, my wonderful little man.