I’ve been having lessons for a few months now – I think my instructor and I worked out I’ve had 6 lessons in that time though, as we keep having to skip lessons for one reason or another.
We’re moving onto manoeuvres now, but to be honest… I hate it.
As an anxious person, anything where I’m not the only one in control of a situation is uncomfortable. If someone else is solely in charge, then yay! That’s fine. But if I have to do something but it can be impacted by a million and one things all happening at the same time around me, my brain sort of goes into overdrive.
I realise that sounds awful – every day life is a million and one things going on around us – but there’s something so inherently dangerous about driving, and worrying about idiots behind the wheel of other cars that stops me in my tracks.
Why else do you think it’s taken me until the youthful age of 31 to get past driving around car parks?
In the last few lessons I’ve had a few “incidents” – I’d like to point out that I have not once crashed the car, or done anything more dramatic than bumping up kerb. But last week I almost crashed at a roundabout, and this week I stalled in the middle of traffic. I know, as my instructor says, “it’s only practice” but still, cocking up to that degree really bothers me.
I can’t relax in the car – hubby says it’ll come once you know what you’re doing with your feet, and that it’ll become muscle memory and second nature, blah blah blah, but right now, I spend half the lesson holding my breath.
Perhaps this is why you’re supposed to learn when you’re younger? Your brain absorbs things fast, and you have the innocence of youth on your side. You don’t think about all the bad things that could happen, like that time I white van almost ran us off the road.
6 lessons is nothing, I suppose. 30-40 hours is considered the length of time it takes to get to test standard. So the 6 hours I’ve had so far is very much just the beginning.
I shall persevere. Because I have to.
And then I’ll get an automatic and just be done with gears forever.