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Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

Way back in the day, when I was a sprightly lass of 18, I was a Drama student. A 100% stagey, living in the drama studio, probably quite obnoxiously pretentious Drama student.

I loved it. Pratting about on the stage with a group of like-minded people. I got to play Puck and Hermia in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I got to write a whole piece based on the 1001 Arabian Nights (which included a song and a character of mine that had the audience in stitches – still very proud of that ha!). I got booed while attending a production of Brecht’s The Threepenny Opera for daring to mention Stanislavski. And I LOVED it. Looking back through my years in education, those 2 years at college studying for my A Levels were up there with the best.

Except, I had a bit of a pants boyfriend who was great at making me feel only a few inches tall. And he somehow managed to shatter all of my confidence in the year or so we were together before unceremoniously dumping me. There are a lot of four letter words I frequently use to describe him but I’m sure you can use your imagination there…

So instead of relishing my time on stage and taking it to the next level, I stopped. I didn’t audition to study Drama at university. I’d been convinced I wasn’t good enough, and I let that feeling fester until it soaked in to pretty much every bit of my life.

I think a big part of me has always regretted not doing something more. Fear stopped me, I know that.  My struggle with Social Anxiety has a great deal to do with it too.

When we moved to Northampton I had to give up my last remaining link to the theatrical world – my job at the theatre I’d been working at for 8 years – and I quickly realised how much I missed that creative world. On a bit of a whim I emailed the local am dram group – The Duston Players, offering up my skills in PR and Photography and a willingness to help out backstage. It would mean keeping a toe in with theatre as well as having a chance to talk to some grown ups about something other than parenting.

comfort zone

And somehow from that quick message I now have a role in their next production! Not through traditional means mind you – there’s a story there about being tricked into auditioning, but I’m thankful for the directors’ evil genius streaks. I was too scared to audition, I wont lie. Although, going along to the auditions and seeing how they were run took a lot of that fear away, and before the end of the evening I was wishing I’d put my name down… it seems the directors anticipated that and sneakily got me to “read in” a few parts as a secret audition.

Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

A few weeks ago I couldn’t have imagined doing anything like this – god knows just plucking up the courage to send the email was tough enough. And I could have still said no; the voice in my head that lingers from over a decade of having very little self belief would have liked that very much. I’m a bit proud of myself just for going along in the first place, and I don’t think the reality of what I’ve agreed to has really hit me.

Stepping so far out of my comfort zone isn’t going to be easy, but when I think back to how much fun I had all those years ago at college, I can’t help but look forward to it all.

I’d best go start learning my lines…

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29 thoughts on “Stepping Out Of My Comfort Zone

  1. Well done you! I used to get so nervous doing anything on stage but since having my children I have developed a whole new self confidence! I now sing in a choir and regularly do solos and I love it! Oh and I live in Northampton too! #Blogstravaganza

  2. Oh wow, congratulations. Northampton isn’t too far away from me, maybe I should venture to come watch. 🙂

    I love that you stepped out of your comfort zone because I am definitely someone who hides behind things and always comes up with excuses for why I shouldn’t do something. When I should just say oh bugger it, what’s the worst that’s going to happen.

    🙂
    #dreamteam

  3. Ah well done! You will smash it! Hopefully one day I will step out of my comfort zone & When I do I will remember this post! If you can do it then so can I eventually! Good luck x

  4. Brilliant! I once worked at a place with an amazing staff trainer and motivational speaker and he once said ‘do something every day that scares you’. If I get scared of something and it’s a nervous scared I always think of him and how inspirational he was. It helps to go for things where you usually wouldn’t. Good luck! #RVHT

  5. This is so exciting! I need to hear more about this, well done you! It’s such shame you had a silly loser of a boyfriend who made you feel so bad, we’ve all been there but it’s so frustrating to think how things could have been different. It sounds like that was such a great time in your life otherwise. Let us know how it all goes!

    #RV&HT Thanks for linking up!

    1. Thank you 😀 Off to rehearsals again tonight – they’re easily the best days of the week now. It’s done wonders for my self esteem too. Don’t know why I put it off for so long! I’m dreading it ending though, I’ll be so sad once the performances are done!

  6. Good for you!!!! I made myself do drama and theatre studies at AS level many moons ago, specifically to grow my confidence as I knew I wanted to follow a career involving public speaking. It did me wonders for my confidence. That’s what it should have done for you too – horrible ex boyfriend. I feel so cross for you that it had the opposite effect. Well you’re showing him now hey ???? You’ve got this. “Break a leg”! (Don’t…you know what I mean). Kate x #paperparadise

  7. You gave done so so well. I also had a poisonous relationship at college but did go on to study Theatre at Master’s level at Uni and work in theatre management for many years. Now as a SAHM I hardly do anything related to it so this is really inspiring to get back involved.
    I’ve got the badge up and running now when ever you get a second and remember to tag me on Twitter and IG too so I can spread this round #Paperparadise

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