Crap Mummy Day
It’s a rainy, soggy morning, much like any other
But today you’re trying to kill your Mother…
Or at least drive me to the edge of despair
The point of tearing out most of my hair.
You’re kicking and laughing, which isn’t like you,
You’ve hit, bit and slapped me, which really wont do.
When I dared just to ask you if you would get dressed
You screamed like a banshee! I’m so sodding stressed.
Most mornings are lovely, we have cuddles in bed
While I attempt to wake up you smother my head
With your tatty blue blanket, and give me a kiss
But this morning you decided to give all that a miss.
From the first “muuuuuuuuummmmmmmmyyyyyyy” yelled you’ve been placing your orders
Tearing through toys like some pint-sized marauder
Demanding and shouting, one request ain’t enough
You want everything NOW, forget the usual Mum stuff
Like allowing me a mug of the best luke warm tea
Or playing nicely enough that I can sneak off for a pee.
I tried to stay calm, but while you’re throwing a strop
For the tenth time already, the tears wouldn’t stop.
I cried and I shouted, but still you laughed on
Kicking and jumping, all Mum control gone
I threatened a time out, or leaving without you
You went on regardless, what was there left to do?!
After 2 and a bit years of loving you, days like this blow
I can’t find the words to explain, but you know,
I love you, I love you, always have, will forever
So please think of your Mummy when you think it’s clever
To not listen to a single word that I’m trying to say
To headbutt me, or kick me in that inimitable way
That means you never miss that painful bit on my shin
Because your poor old Mummy is feeling pretty done in.
I’m sorry I shouted, got cross, cried and got sad.
I should be grown up and not let you make me mad.
You’re only a toddler, you are learning your ways
So there is always going to be good and bad days.
Tomorrow will be better, I’m certain, I’ll say
But today will just go down as another Crap Mummy Day.