Family LIfe


Crap Mummy Day

It’s a rainy, soggy morning, much like any other

But today you’re trying to kill your Mother…

Or at least drive me to the edge of despair

The point of tearing out most of my hair.


You’re kicking and laughing, which isn’t like you,

You’ve hit, bit and slapped me, which really wont do.

When I dared just to ask you if you would get dressed

You screamed like a banshee! I’m so sodding stressed.


Most mornings are lovely, we have cuddles in bed

While I attempt to wake up you smother my head

With your tatty blue blanket, and give me a kiss

But this morning you decided to give all that a miss.


From the first “muuuuuuuuummmmmmmmyyyyyyy” yelled you’ve been placing your orders

Tearing through toys like some pint-sized marauder

Demanding and shouting, one request ain’t enough

You want everything NOW, forget the usual Mum stuff


Like allowing me a mug of the best luke warm tea

Or playing nicely enough that I can sneak off for a pee.

I tried to stay calm, but while you’re throwing a strop

For the tenth time already, the tears wouldn’t stop.


I cried and I shouted, but still you laughed on

Kicking and jumping, all Mum control gone

I threatened a time out, or leaving without you

You went on regardless, what was there left to do?!

After 2 and a bit years of loving you, days like this blow

I can’t find the words to explain, but you know,

I love you, I love you, always have, will forever

So please think of your Mummy when you think it’s clever


To not listen to a single word that I’m trying to say

To headbutt me, or kick me in that inimitable way

That means you never miss that painful bit on my shin

Because your poor old Mummy is feeling pretty done in.


I’m sorry I shouted, got cross, cried and got sad.

I should be grown up and not let you make me mad.

You’re only a toddler, you are learning your ways

So there is always going to be good and bad days.


Tomorrow will be better, I’m certain, I’ll say

But today will just go down as another Crap Mummy Day.

3 Little Buttons

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