Tomorrow I go to London for the night to have a bit of frivolous fun with a friend of mine; I had an overwhelming desire to go and see American Idiot (for the 3rd time) and he needed some cheering up, so we’ve planned a 24 hour trip to the Big Smoke.
I have been looking forward to this since we first chatted about it, and now that it’s TOMORROW my anxiety has decided to kick in big time. It likes to ruin things I enjoy like that. So this is a bit of a moany post to get all of those silly panicky thoughts out in the open! I tend to find they help.
When Anxiety Strikes…
I’m trying to break the whole thing down into manageable chunks, so I only worry about one thing at a time, but having a toddler thrown into the occasion isn’t helping.
Said toddler is being picked up by my wonderful in-laws. I’m worrying about this – not only because I don’t know what time they’re going to be here (and I hate rushing, or the thought of only being 5 minutes early), but also because X suffers awfully from travel sickness, and I’m sure he’s going puke all over the back of their car. I’m also dreading saying goodbye to him, because he gets ever so upset of late whenever someone leaves. And I hate leaving him really, we’re in a good groove right now – we have fun together and there’s a lot of love. I shall miss him a lot over that 24 hours.
It is also going to be as hot as the sun in London tomorrow. I don’t deal well with the heat. I’ve got Irish and Dutch ancestry, and I’m probably one of the palest people alive. I think I might melt.
Also, thanks to the b*tch that is mother nature, I’m going to be struggling with this sudden heatwave in a very, well, womanly way. (I know period talk shouldn’t be taboo this days, but it’s still something I don’t like to talk about.) So not only do I have to pack a suitcase, but I’m going to have to take a big handbag too. All on the train. Woo.
Aaaaaaaaand my PCS (postcholecystectomy syndrome) has been flaring up of late, so I’m going to be worrying about the nearest toilet wherever we go.
I WANT to enjoy this trip, but there’s so much to panic about. Other things include having set train times, having to be back in time for X’s Pops to get a train too the following day, remembering to get off at a different station to my friend on the way home… Oh, and I’m coming down with a cold!
The brain of an anxiety sufferer is never quiet. It’s no wonder I have headaches all the time…
*takes a deep breath* It will all be fine. I will have fun. I WILL.
End of rant! Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear about any tips and tricks you have for dealing with anxiety.